Baksheesh & Brahman

And wanders
Originally uploaded by Amberly & David.

This is the title of a book I was reading before I left. It is a travel memoir by Joseph Campbell (the myths guy) about his travels in India. I didn't finish it before we left, but the gist was that he had come in search of Brahman (the holy, the one-ness of the universe) and had come away with the downside of the baksheesh culture, that is, "tips" for everything you do. From how I understand the word, it is used for everything from "buddy, can you spare a dime," from women with babes in arms, to the 'greasing of the wheels' that is so common in the developing world.

My lesson about baksheesh & brahman was a bit more subtle that what I have gotten from the book so far. Perhaps Campbell arrives at the same conclusion, who knows! It has to do with our first full day in Delhi. Amberly & I were wandering about Cannaught Pl, the heart of downtown, taking in a few sights and struggling with our jetlag. We were approached by a number of of touts and beggars, as is common elsewhere in the world.

We were also, however, encountered by a couple of folks who saw us wandering a bit confused and blinking at the dust and smog of the city. They offered assistance in finding what we were looking for (a tourist office and a restaurant, alternately), even walking with us to make sure we didn't get lost, talking all the while. My antennae where up a bit, as I don't like strangers following me, and anyone talking to me must be wanting money. Both of these guys' exclamations to the contrary did not convince me. I did my best to brush them off and get on my way. I wanted to do nothing that would result in having to pay some baksheesh.

A little later, we went in to the tourist office to get our free map of Delhi. We were led to a back office by a middle-aged man named Farook. He asked us similar questions to the previous two: where are you from, when did you get here, how long are you staying, etc. Again, I felt a little pumped for information and like a mark for some sale I didn't want a part of. I remained standing and motioned to Amberly to do the same. At one point, I interrupted the questioning, asking if the map was indeed free, and whether we were free to go.

Farook said, "of course, the map is free. You can take it and go. But I have one piece of advice: I have met many many people, Canadian, Australian, European, and all of them say the same thing - the people make the experience. When somebody is offering free advice, sit down and share with them. Of course I need to make money. You make money at your jobs; everybody needs to make money. But you need to give a little rope to get some enjoyment."

A little shamed, I sat down and we talked some more. He showed us pictures of our next stop and offered us some tea the next time we came back.

It took me a few hours and a nap to grasp the meaning of the morning's experiences. I pride myself in being a saavy traveler, in haggling for prices and not getting sucked into scams. We had heard a lot about scams in India, so I was doubly prepared to foil them. What I wasn't prepared to do was seeing the humanity in the potential scammer, which is an ideal I often espouse at home. In my effort to avoid baksheesh, I was cutting myself off from the potential for brahman, the oneness of humanity we all share.

The standard greeting in Hindi is Namaste, which roughly means, "I ackowledge and honor the diety/spirit (humanity) within you." As we were walking around today, I tried the opposite approach to dealing with people offering rides or goods or whatever: I smiled and made eye contact. What a difference THAT made. More than other places I've been, I got a smile back every time. I am a bit embarrased by the way I treated the folks earlier yesterday. I wish now that I had asked some questions back, acknowledged their humanity.

Maybe baksheesh and brahman go together, instead of standing in opposition to each other. You have to give a little rope in the form of baksheesh OR brahman to get some brahman OR baksheesh back. I'm still chewing on that one.